We went away on Friday night. Just 30 minutes away from home, but we went to a nice hotel in downtown Indianapolis. We checked in around 4:00, and were home the next day by 2:00. Not even 24 hours, but what a return on that investment of time… We walked through the mall, had drinks, a fabulous dinner, then topped off the evening at a comedy club. The next morning we walked to breakfast, did some Christmas shopping, then took in an early movie before arriving home. There was laughter and intimacy and great food… but most importantly there was time spent together.
When I’m not traveling, we’re together most every day (at least every evening). But as with most couples, that routine time spent at home is consumed with kids, or with meetings, or housework or other seemingly endless “to-do’s”. Getting away, even for a night, let us shift our focus from mundane tasks to each other. No kids interrupting our conversation, no company to entertain. Just a middle aged couple, still very much in love spending some much needed “alone time” together.
To us, this is not an uncommon occurrence. We both wish it could happen more, but with our schedules and other commitments it’s hard. But we do it – at least a couple of times a year. What amazes me is what a foreign concept this is to so many couples that we know. When we talked to our friends of doing this we heard the following types of responses…
- “We’ve never done that…”
- “That’s something we should do. We’re really in a rut”
- “I can’t remember the last time we did something without the kids…”
- “We couldn’t afford to do that right now…”
If this is typical of marriages in our culture (and I believe it is), is it any wonder that our divorce rate is so high? Instead of focusing on the cost and hassle of spending a night away, shouldn’t we focus on the cost of not doing this occasionally?
Intimate times like these buy a lot of leeway in a relationship. In the weeks ahead I will inevitably continue to say insensitive things, and she will forget to do things that I’ve asked. But these bonding times remind us of why we’re together in the first place. And that makes continuing to love and forgive one another that much easier.