My wife and kids have been gone for a week. It’s funny, I travel quite a bit for work and have for the bulk of my career. When I’m away from home, I miss everybody, but I’m typically so busy with scheduled work activities and dinners that I don’t spend too much time thinking about it. But sitting around an empty house at night… that’s just weird. It’s not that I physically need my wife there. I’m fully capable of buying groceries and fixing meals for myself. And I suppose that if she were to be gone another week I could even figure out the whole laundry thing…lol. But it’s the little things I’ve noticed, that I forget to appreciate day in and day out. The smell of dinner when I walk in the house after work, the soft sound of her snoring, the immediate conversation that’s waiting for me when I arrive. Me “forgetting” that she’s not a morning person after thirty-two years of marriage.
The craziest thing though, is my pillow. We have these goofy memory foam pillows that have a definite front and back to them. Every day when my wife makes the bed (don’t judge me, she’s always the last out of it), she spins my pillow around backwards. And every night I climb into bed and have to turn the silly thing around before I can sleep. She knows it “bugs” me, and I’m sure she does it each day with a smile. It took me three nights this week to realize that I didn’t need to turn my pillow around in her absence. And each time it made me a little bit sad.
I’m guessing there’s probably things that I do that she would miss too (though for the life of me I can’t imagine what they’d be!). It’s the little things that create bonds. And when a marriage is growing over time (as opposed to eroding) I’m convinced more and more little bonding points are created. The image of Velcro comes to my mind. It’s not a single hook and eyelet that holds things together, it’s hundreds of little hooks and loops. The more hooks and loops there are, the stronger the bond.
I sure do miss my wife (okay and kids), and I look forward to her return. I look forward to eating better and laughing more. But as much as anything, I look forward to having to spin my pillow around again.